A Dream of Angels
by Catheryne
Summary: Chloe Lex. A young couple and their quest to fulfill a dream when all the odds seem to be against them. COMPLETE
1. 1

A Dream of Angels  
  
Part 1  
  
Her hands were trembling so heavily. Chloe could not remember a day when she felt as insignificant, even deadweight, as she did at that moment.  
  
Everyone had congratulated her the day she announced her engagement to Lex. She had been so special that day and every day she was with him. That was the most beautiful Christmas of her life. Lex had invited her to return to Smallville with him. At first, she had been hesitant. She still needed to work on some of her papers. She was competing for one of the hottest seats in the Daily Planet, and one of her edges was an upcoming study on sensational journalism.  
  
She had been on the fast track to a brilliant career as an international news analyst. Perry White had all but laid down the red carpet leading into the most admired halls of journalism in the country. And then after Lex's few tender kisses and mumbled loving words, Chloe had decided to postpone her work and leave Metropolis with him.  
  
He had asked to blindfold her. With more than a little reluctance, Chloe had agreed to have him lead her blindly into the manor.  
  
Only to open her eyes to paradise.  
  
The corridors were lighted by thousands of small candles that paved the way to one door. Chloe palms closed over her open mouth, eyes moist from the gesture, followed the lit path. Lex's hand had remained on the small of her back. She had opened the door to his bedroom. She grinned at the thought that he had come to such trouble for a romantic private Christmas night.  
  
The room shone golden because of candlelight. Chloe walked inside the room and stopped at the center, looking down at the small box in the middle of the bed. She had gasped and whirled around to see a sad smile on Lex's face.  
  
"God," he had murmured, "I fully acknowledge that I am an ass for doing this right now. Chloe, I know you have so many plans. I support everything that you've shared with me. I understand what you want to achieve."  
  
Chloe had bitten her lip at the sheer vulnerability of his words and expression.  
  
"I adore you," he had said. "You understand what I want. We've talked about all of them before."  
  
She had nodded wordlessly.  
  
Lex had walked slowly forward and taken one of her hands in his own. "That's why I know how big of a risk this is, and how unfair I'm being. But I want everything now, Chloe. I'm ready for everything now. And I know in my heart I won't find anyone else I can love this much."  
  
And the entire time, his dreams were foremost in her mind. While Lex had stood there, admitting how wrong it was for him to want so much, all of the pictures he had painted for her of their future were prominent in her thoughts. They had considered tomorrow so many times—of their children studying in the city and not in some boarding house across the globe, of Chloe writing from home so she would always be there when he came home, of Lex spreading his investments so that he could have others run the companies for him, of their family spending holidays in different places every year and Sundays out together.  
  
The decision was split second. At that precise moment, career and ambition fled. Chloe wanted to make him happy. She had wanted it when they fell in love; she wanted it at that time; she would want it forever.  
  
She had picked up the small box and sat heavily on the bed. Chloe handed the ring back to Lex and whispered against his lips, her eyes closed, "Propose to me."  
  
"Chloe," he started.  
  
She had swallowed her cry and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. Even before he had gone any further, Chloe had thrown her arms around him and exclaimed, "Yes!"  
  
He had laughed in relief then. He had pulled her into his arms and they collapsed on the bed. As their laughter and crying faded, Lex slowly slipped the ring on her finger. He turned to look at her as she smiled tearfully while gazing at the symbol of their promise. "Thank you," he had told her.  
  
Chloe had smiled and gazed at him, then nodded. "I'll give you everything," she had vowed.  
  
Now, in the doctor's office, two years after a fairy tale wedding and a life in which Lex had done all of his part in their bargain, Chloe sat looking down at the proof that she had never deserved everything he had given her. She lowered her head and merely stared at the words in black and white. Soon, dark spots stained the white sheet.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she whispered under her breath. The doctor reached for her hand and squeezed it firmly. "I'm so sorry."  
  
And then, Lex was kneeling in front of her, cupping her cheeks and lifting her tearstained face to his. Chloe shut her eyes tightly, because she could not look and discover the emotions she feared showing in his eyes.  
  
"Look at me," he said firmly. Chloe shook her head. "Look at me," he repeated.  
  
Finally, she opened her eyes and met his gaze. The loathing and the blame that she feared were absent. Chloe recognized determination and sadness in his eyes. Most importantly, she saw love.  
  
"Didn't you read it?" she choked out. "It's me, Lex. I'm the reason we still don't have a baby!"  
  
Lex shook his head. "It's not your fault," he told her.  
  
Tears slipped from her eyes. "Why is this happening, Lex? We want one so much. We've been trying for two years!" she exclaimed. "My cousin sleeps with Clark one time and gets pregnant. She doesn't even want a baby!"  
  
Lex pulled Chloe into his arms and held her tightly. He looked at the doctor. "What can we do?" he asked hoarsely. "If there's anything, Harris—"  
  
"God, love," she murmured into his shirt, "I'm the reason you can't fulfill your dreams."  
  
He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her skin over the wedding band. Lex dried her tears with his fingers. "You are my dream," he replied.  
  
Chloe settled her head on his shoulder and looked up at him.  
  
And she was all too familiar with the longing in his eyes then. 


	2. 2

Part 2  
  
Her skin she knew must be cold and clammy. Chloe pushed her laptop aside and looked up. It was almost seven, almost time for her husband to walk into the house. Lex always made certain he came home early so that they could have at least a few hours together before they had to go to bed. For the first time in their marriage though, Chloe did not want to see Lex.  
  
Not yet.  
  
She stood up, forcing her weak knees to cooperate, Chloe felt herself burning up and freezing at the same time. Chloe stumbled towards the bathroom and fumbled with the doorknob. No matter how much she tried though, she couldn't seem to grasp the knob properly. Chloe's hand slipped. Since she had placed her weight into opening the door, Chloe staggered to her side when the door finally swung open.  
  
Chloe rested her hands on opposite edges of the sink and felt her empty stomach turn over. She bent low and heaved dryly.  
  
The phone rang.  
  
Chloe looked up at her reflection in the mirror, took in her sunken eyes and pale lips, then heaved again. There was nothing inside her anymore, she thought, as tears slipped down her cheeks. She had been sick for the past few days and she had nothing left.  
  
The ringing phone still pierced through her muddled consciousness.  
  
"Chloe," she heard Lex's tight voice being recorded by the answering machine, "where are you?"  
  
Her heart would have broken at the coldness in her husband's words. She could not and would not blame him. After all, she had recognized the slow decline of their relationship the moment she started it.  
  
Chloe reached for the bottle of miltivitamins that actually contained the pills that she did not want Lex to know about. She unscrewed the cap and took one pill ou. Chloe then placed it in his mouth. She turned the faucet on to try to drown out Lex's message.  
  
"I have to stay here in the office for a couple more hours."  
  
Chloe cupped some water in her hand and sipped some to swallow the pill.  
  
"Sorry for the late call. You don't have to wait up for me if you're tired."  
  
She supposed it was her fault. A man could only take as much. The day after she found out that she was the cause of the collapse of their dreams, she had gone to the doctor and asked for the pills that Lextold her he did not want her to take.  
  
That was what he said.  
  
Yet Chloe had seen the spark of interest in his eyes when the doctor had told them of this option. When the doctor had mentioned that the specific formula that Chloe needed would wreak havoc on her hormones and her body in general, Lex had been quick to say no.  
  
The entire night after that, while they lay in bed together, the hope in Lex's eyes in that moment haunted her.  
  
"Anyway, good night."  
  
And the doctor had not been exaggerating. Chloe knew her body dropped within twenty four hours of taking the first pill. She had been short and cold with Lex because she did not want him to know. Truth be told, in the worst moments, when she felt like the medicines were killing her, she blamed him. She blamed him because she loved him too much to not take the risk.  
  
~~  
  
Lex put down phone back in the cradle and settled back in his chair to force himself to work. He had known Chloe was in the house. He had installed his own men to look after her. The security were subtle and inconspicuous so Chloe would not know. They had reported that Chloe was inside the house and had not left since he went to work that morning.  
  
Lex rubbed the bridge of his nose. His marriage was breaking apart, and he had no way of knowing how to fix it. Ever since hat doctor told them what was relly the reason they were childless, Chloe seemed intent on finding a way out of their life.  
  
"Chloe, don't do this. It's not worth it," said the man whose only dream was to have a complete and healthy family.  
  
A child would have fulfilled him in ways he could not name. However, now placed in this situation, Lex could not help but this that he could live without a baby that he knew he fathered. But he could not live without Chloe.  
  
The doctor's suggestions had not all been preposterous. They had so many options to consider. Right now, Lex could think of only one that would be acceptable to them in time. Adoption. Surrogacy was out of the question. He knew that Chloe would not survive nine months of knowing that her husband's dream was growing inside the womb of another woman. The pills... the entire treatment would solve that problem. In time, Chloe may be able to give him a child. After hearing the costs, Lex loved her enough not to press for something that would bring her to the edge. He did not trust enough in his strength to bring her back.  
  
Half an hour later, Lex decided that it pointless to stay. Everything inside him wanted Chloe, craved his wife, especially at this hour because they had spent every night since their wedding together in bed. It was why she quit her job when he proposed.  
  
Maybe it was their fault. They had been too ideal. Lex wanted children and a wife who would stay at home to raise their kids the way Lionel had not been able to raise him. Chloe had agreed to abandon her career so that she would always be there for her husband and her children, the way her mother had not been to her and to her dad.  
  
He hoped this was not punishment for wanting perfection. Was he truly willing to allow their dreams to ruin the life he had established with Chloe?  
  
So they won't have children of their own. So the nursery he had foolishly had installed in the house would not be used. So Chloe could return to her promising career. So everyone would regard them as failures.  
  
Lex thought they'd won too much since they fell in love anyway.  
  
He drove back to his place earlier than he expected. Very somberly, he climbed the few steps that led to the door. He slipped inside and heard utter silence.  
  
Lex went to the bedroom to look in on his sleeping wife. He pulled his tie loose as he made his way there. When he stood beside the bed, he saw that it was empty.  
  
"Chloe," he said quietly into the darkness.  
  
There was no answer.  
  
He walked down the stairs and called out, "Chloe, I'm home."  
  
Lex found the library and the kitchen empty. He looked around him and felt a chill at the eerie stillness that surrounded him. Chloe was home. His guards told him that. Chloe was home and his house was never this still when she was home. He saw a chair turned over, and he proceeded to right it. When he bent low, Lex saw the sliver of light coming from inside the bathroom.  
  
"Chloe," he repeated. Lex rapped on the door. "Chlo, are you there?"  
  
Now, as his heart thundered in his chest, Lex swallowed dryly. He heard the running water when he pressed his ear to the door. He knocked more heavily. "Chloe, open the door."  
  
Lex stood back and rammed his shoulder against the door. "Come on, dammit," he murmured under his breath. Again, he pushed against the door.  
  
Lex tried over and over to open the door. Finally, when he thought his arm would fall off from the pain, the door swung open. He stepped in and took in the sight before him.  
  
Chloe lay unconscious on the tiles, a grayish yellow matter congealed beside her head. Vaguely he noticed that it was vomit. The sink overflowed with water. Lex knelt beside his wife and turned her head. "Chloe," he whispered harshly.  
  
When he assured himself that she had only fainted and was still breathing properly, Lex scanned the bathroom to see what must have caused her harm. His intent search yielded a small bottle of multivitamins sitting on the wet sink. Lex gathered Chloe in his arms to get her away from the regurgitated fluid on the tiles. He reached for the bottle and tipped it over, then examined the contents.  
  
He recognized the pills. The doctor had helf them aloft and he had seen Choe looking at them as if they were the Holy Grail.  
  
He had not noticed how ill Chloe looked, he thought, as he stared at her face. He was disgusted with himself. Chloe had seen his interest with this treatment. She had asked him on their way home if he really did not want her to take the pills. He had answered no. His hesitation told her something else.  
  
Lex took the bottle and dumped the contents into the toilet. Then, he pressed flush to drown them.  
  
He took Chloe in his arms and lifted her. Then, he proceeded to take her to their bedroom. When he laid her down, Lex touched her cheek and her forehead. She was hot to the touch. Her sweatpants were wet from where the faucet water was absorbed.  
  
"Chloe, wake up," he pleaded.  
  
Her eyes fluttered open and she regarded him briefly. "I'm so cold," she told Lex. Then, she slipped back into her sleep.  
  
Lex nodded and laid down beside her, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her arms. Chloe sighed and burrowed deeper. Lex took the phone from his pocket and called the doctor.  
  
~~  
  
Chloe woke to the feel of Lex pressed close against her. She sighed and took a deep breath.  
  
God, she had missed his scent. She adored this man, and she would not lose him because of her own inadequacies.  
  
She laid her hand against his chest. His heart thumped steadily under her palm. "Lex," she whispered under her breath.  
  
Chloe was jarred to awareness by the realization that she had never made it to bed the night before. She sat up and glanced at her clothes. They were the same ones she had on before. Her last recollection was curling into herself on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom.  
  
"Lex," she said again. Her husband had apparently found her and taken her to bed.  
  
He awoke at the loss of contact, at the sudden coldness in his arms where there had been warmth. Lex took in his wife blinking first in confusion, then hugging herself as she remembered.  
  
"You have a lot of things to tell me," he said quietly.  
  
Tear-filled eyes went to him. "I know."  
  
Lex sat up and drew her back into his embrace. "I need to tell you something first." She looked up at him. "I won't leave you." Chloe smiled lopsidedly, sadly. "Ever. I promise. Not because of this. Not because of anything."  
  
"Thank you for saying that."  
  
I'm not just saying it. You're worth more of all my dreams put together. Chloe—"Lex sighed. He had no words. He didn't know how to tell her or convince her.  
  
Chloe looked down. 


	3. 3

Part 3  
  
For the man who did not rest until he was certain that he was the best in his field, who drove people to the brink of exhaustion to be on top, it was surprisingly easy to let go of the reins of his company to be with his wife. Lex stunned the business world, making headlines both locally and abroad when he took a leave of absence from his corporation to take Chloe away from the city. Within a half hour after deciding that they needed the time away, he and Chloe were on their helicopter, making their way to the small town where they first met.  
  
It was a doubly special occasion for Chloe. She had not seen her childhood home for many years. She had dreamed once, when Lex proposed to her, that they would get married in Smallville. Lex had thrown a wonderful and grand city wedding. In the beauty of it all, she had forgotten. But she was happy.  
  
If this was a second honeymoon, then Chloe could think of nothing she would change. Lex had gone to extreme lengths to assure her that he was going to be with her, that she had his full attention. At first, Chloe had been grateful. There was never a moment when she felt insecure or unloved.  
  
Perhaps all of her friends would think ill of her when they found out that through the course of the vacation, Chloe slowly slid from the high of elation to irritation. Whenever she turned, Lex would be there--an obsequious over the top sycophant.  
  
She started avoiding him during their own time together. Chloe looked for excuses to refuse going out with him. In the mornings, Lex would ask her if she wanted to take a walk outside. However, Chloe had decided that she had had enough of Lex's uncalled for attention. Every time he fawned, she was only reminded more of the reason why they were here. It no longer was about their time together. With each of Lex's ceaseless assurances, the fact that she could not give this man what he had truly wanted all along grated on her.  
  
Chloe had been sleeping restlessly when Lex sat on their bed, making her roll towards him. She woke up to find him smiling down at her. Chloe sat up and flinched when Lex moved to kiss her.  
  
"There's my perfect, beautiful wife," he greeted. "Good morning."  
  
"Lex, please," she murmured, pulling away.  
  
"What's wrong, Chloe?" he sighed.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
Chloe stood up and pulled her red silk bedrobe around her body.  
  
"There's obviously something going on," he continued. Chloe prayed that he would just accept that she did not want to talk and leave her alone. "You know that you can talk to me, Chloe."  
  
"Lex, it's nothing."  
  
For a while, he was silent. Chloe thanked her lucky stars.  
  
"Do you remember when you were in high school and you made a deal with my dad?" he asked. Chloe closed her eyes. Why could he not learn? "You thought you could handle everything. You let your emotions cloud your judgment. Don't let the same thing happen now, Chloe. You have me. I can help you if you will only talk to me."  
  
Chloe turned around to look at him. "You can do anything, Lex," she responded bitterly. And then, Chloe walked out of the room.  
  
"What do you mean by that, Chlo?" Lex asked, following at her heels.  
  
"I was just agreeing with you," she answered.  
  
"You meant something else. I know you did."  
  
Chloe whirled around and faced him. "Let's make this short. You always know everything, Lex. I agreed. But I don't want to talk."  
  
"If you would only share your problems then our marriage wouldn't be in this kind of mess!" he exploded.  
  
"Lex, we would be in trouble whether or not I told you!" she cried. "Don't you get it, Lex? You may be perfect! You may be able to solve pollution, AIDS or the fucking hole in the ozone layer... but you can't fix a dysfunctional wife!"  
  
Chloe did not notice herself moving, or Lex walking. Her vision was a mix of black and red and silver. All she knew was that when she finally calmed down, her face was buried in his chest and she was wrapped inside his warm arms. She took a deep breath and turned her face. They were standing outside the bedroom, which meant that in her grief it was she who walked towards her husband and sought comfort in his embrace.  
  
"I'm never going to be perfect, Lex," she sobbed. "Not for you."  
  
"Shhhh." Lex rubbed his hand in circles on her back.  
  
"I'm never going to be someone you deserve."  
  
"Chloe," he whispered, "you can't know how much I thank God that you're mine."  
  
"I'm taking so much away from you."  
  
"Yes, you are," Lex responded. Chloe looked up at him. "If you continue like this, putting yourself down and just believing that there's someone out there better for me, then you'll be killing me one breath at a time."  
  
Chloe brushed her tears away with her fingers. "How did we fall into this disgusting melodrama?"  
  
Instead of answering, Lex closed his eyes and pressed his lips against her temple. Chloe sighed. She leaned her her and felt his kiss slide to her cheek until he was kissing her jugular. Chloe wrapped her arms around her husband and accepted his attention once more like someone who had been starved for so long.  
  
It was then, she would think in the nine wondrous months to follow, that her impossible dream of an angel became a reality. 


	4. 4

Part 4  
  
If the stars could hear me They would say to me How beautiful's your baby She is so lovely "God, Lex!" Chloe laughed, beaming at her husband from the bed. She lay on the silk covers and could not wait to be given the doctor's go-signal to move around. If Lex had not been how he had for the last two weeks since their daughter was born, she would have gone insane. "That is so cheesy." Lex looked up briefly at his wife, then looked down at the wide-awake infant in his arms again. He could not help staring at the baby, who had a hint of sunburst red hair, so like his in his earliest pictures. If the stars could sing a song I know it won't be long Before they sing a lullaby So my baby will not cry Chloe smiled and held out her hand. It had been a hard journey from conception, and an even harder birth. All the pain had been forgotten though, the moment that she first saw Lex holding their daughter. When the doctor had told them that she was pregnant, after all those tests that proved that she and Lex had barely any capacity to conceive, Dr. Harris had warned them of the difficulties. Yet, he had said, all the pain would fade away when she first sees the baby. It was not the sight of the baby that blew away the horrible pain though. No. It was the tears in Lex's eyes, and his feather-soft whisper of "Thank you." Lex walked over to Chloe and sat beside her on the bed. He moved the baby so that he had one free hand. With it, he reached for Chloe's hand and brushed a kiss on her knuckles. "She's so beautiful." Chloe nodded. "And you are no songwriter," she teased. Chloe peeked at her daughter. "I've never seen anyone more awake after what was supposed to be a lullaby." Lex grinned. "I think she's hyped on caffeine. Did you drink coffee?" "No, Lex." She rolled her eyes. "Lena did not drink coffee from me when she breastfed. You just don't have a mother's soothing voice." "Oh well let me see you try, mommy." Chloe loved it when he called her that. She ran her fingers down the baby's soft cheek. She did not even take Lena anymore. Lex loved holding her, and Chloe's was even now still sore from the birth that even the light burden of the baby was uncomfortable. Sleep tight, little princess You're mommy's baby girl Tonight and every night I'll give you A gift of love, my heart "You're no songwriter either," he whispered into her ear. Chloe shivered when his hot breath touched her cool lobe. "But good enough." Sleep tight, little princess I thank God every day That months ago He gave us A miracle that's you Lex kissed Lena's thin eyebrow and followed Chloe's tune. Sleep tight, little princess You're daddy's pretty pride I'll take care of you Every day, every hour My sweet Lena close your eyes Night has come; you are tired Sleep, sleep sweet child Daddy will stay with you through the night. Chloe smiled as she watched Lex sing the lines softly to their daughter. The way Lex fussed over the child was endearing and at the same time terrifying. She had no doubt that Lena would be pampered until she was forty. When Lex looked up at her, he saw Chloe's eyes on him. "That part of the song notoriously lacks any mention of the mom," she teased. "Thank you for carrying her for eight months and pushing through the pain of the premature labor." Lex shook his head, chuckling lightly. "I know I didn't do all the work." "You didn't do most of the work," she corrected. "All right all right," Lex admitted. "I can't help it though. I never thought this would ever come true, Chlo. She's so beautiful." "Lex, the way you treat her, I hope she's not going to be a brat." "An angel like this? She can't ever be a brat if she tried." Chloe laughed at the sheer absurdity of the Lex Luthor of LexCorp as a doting dad who thought everything about his daughter was excellent. With a slight smile, she admitted, "She is pretty special, isn't she?" "Of course she is," Lex responded. "She's a tiny bit of you and me." 


	5. 5

A Dream of Angels  
  
"Lena, sweetheart, where are you going?" Chloe called out to the little girl scampering out of her room in her mint green swimsuit. "That's not the way to the swimming pool!"  
  
Red curly pigtails bounced around the plump white face that turned briefly to Chloe. "Swimming pool's not fun, mommy."  
  
Chloe sighed as she shrugged on her bedrobe. Lex emerged from the bedroom and slid out beside Chloe. "You rest," he told her. "I'll catch the scamp." Chloe grinned as Lex started chasing after their five-year-old.  
  
"Lena!" Chloe heard Lex shout. "The pool is perfectly huge. Don't tell me you're going to the garden fountain again!"  
  
The pair vanished at the turn of the hallway. Chloe rolled her eyes. She was exhausted from the weekend vacation that she, Lex and Lena took. Her husband and her daughter, on the other hand, seemed to still be so energized. They knew she wouldn't be able to resist. She quickly reached for her fluffy house slippers and raced after the two.  
  
Just like Lex had guessed, Chloe found them in the garden, out in the open air. Lena was playing in the wide fountain. Showing clearly how much his daughter had him wrapped around her littlest finger, Lex sat on the edge of the fountain, his slacks and silk shirt soaked through.  
  
Chloe sat beside Lex and asked, "Aren't you supposed to go to the office this morning?"  
  
He turned to her, his shining eyes making Chloe grin, and replied, "And miss this?" Lex wrapped his arm around Chloe's shoulder and drew her against his body. "She's fascinating, isn't she?"  
  
"I know," she agreed. "Some people would say though that she's just a little girl."  
  
"Liars, all of them," was his soft answer. "Or else they are just the stupidest people in the world."  
  
"Daddy!" Lena called from the other side of the fountain, where she was exposing her bare tummy to a water arc. "Am I really a princess?"  
  
Chloe chuckled against Lex's chest. Lex smiled at his daughter and returned with another question, "Do you feel like a princess, Lena?"  
  
Lena moved away from the water arc and walked towards them, lifting wet arms and wrapping her parents in a tight embrace. "Always!"  
  
"You'll be a princess as long as you feel like a princess," Lex assured her. "And when you start feeling like you're not a princess anymore, we'll do something about it."  
  
Chloe pressed a kiss on Lena's chubby cheek and said, "So that means you can be a princess every day, Lena, for as long as you want. We'll make sure of it."  
  
That satisfied the girl. Lena started swimming on the waist-deep water.  
  
"She's so pretty. She looks like me, doesn't she?"  
  
Chloe relaxed against her husband and made herself more comfortable. She took off her slippers and dipped her feet into the water. Lex arched an eyebrow at Chloe. "I thought you said you had a deadline."  
  
"I don't care," she replied. With a smile, she turned back to watching her daughter.  
  
It was not until a long while later when Lex murmured, "I'm almost tempted to cancel my attendance to the Northern American Business Forum in Quebec."  
  
"Lena will be disappointed," Chloe reminded him. "You won't be able to bring her a t-shirt."  
  
Oddly enough, their daughter had a strange fascination that was almost adult. Whenever Lex attended conferences abroad, or even out of state, she would request for Lex to bring her a souvenir t-shirt that had the name of the place emblazoned in front. She marked it as a genetic inheritance from Lex, whose obsessive collections were infamous in Smallville before.  
  
"I can have one made in Metropolis," Lex suggested half-heartedly.  
  
"Oh she would know. She'd look at the shirt, sniff it, then tell you it's a fake."  
  
Lex turned to his wife. "What's scary is I fully believe you there."  
  
"You don't have to stay away long," Chloe said. "Lena and I will be waiting for you. So hurry home."  
  
"I will," he promised.  
  
"Mommy, why aren't you working anymore?"  
  
Chloe sat up in bed where she had been laying with her daughter. She pushed Lena's nose with her finger and asked, "Why? Don't you like it when mommy is always around?"  
  
Lena's lower lip protruded and she said, "I love it, mommy. But daddy said you were born to write like I'm born to be his baby girl. Won't you hurt if you stop being what you're born to be?"  
  
"I'll always be able to write, Lena, even if I'm a stay-at-home mom. And daddy wasn't completely right." The girl scrunched her forehead, as if the prospect of her father being wrong was alien to her. "I wasn't just born to be a writer. I was born to be your mommy."  
  
That satisfied the little girl. Lena raised herself on her knees and then threw herself on top of Chloe. "Just like I was born to be your baby!"  
  
"There's my smart girl!" Chloe laughed. She squeezed Lena's waist lightly and grinned at the sound of Lena's giggles.  
  
"When will daddy get home?" Lena gasped.  
  
Chloe stilled her fingers and marveled at the brilliance of her daughter, who knew to ask a question to relieve herself of the tickle attack. She brushed one red curl that fell over Lena's eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "You miss daddy?"  
  
"A million billion trillion times."  
  
"He'll be home in three sleeps," Chloe informed her.  
  
"Can I sleep in the morning and then wake up, sleep in the afternoon, wake up, then sleep again so daddy will be home quick?"  
  
Chloe stifled a smirk. Lena got that from her. It usually drove Lex insane. "I meant full night's sleep, silly!"  
  
"But you didn't say," Lena responded matter-of-factly.  
  
Chloe chuckled and sat up. "Well, missy, it's bath time. We still have to go shopping for your birthday shoes." Chloe extended her arms. "Pull me up."  
  
"But mommy you're heavy!" Lena complained. Even so, the girl stood on the bed and clasped her hands around her mother's, and started pulling.  
  
Chloe pretended that Lena was able to lift her. "Wow! You're getting so strong, Lena."  
  
Proud of her accomplishment, Lena jumped off the bed and ran to the closet to get her preferred clothes for the day. She entered the bathroom while Chloe was testing the tub to see if it was warm enough.  
  
"Mommy, I'm gonna wear my green jumpers today."  
  
"Don't you want the rose dress your Uncle Clark got you?" Lena usually loved wearing brand new clothes.  
  
The girl made a face. "It's pink."  
  
"It's rose."  
  
"Pink!"  
  
"Well little girls usually love pink," Chloe said, even though she adored Lena's abhorrence of the color. Chloe admitted she was petty in that regard. "Well all right. Get in here." She motioned to the tub.  
  
Lena took off an oversized t-shirt that said 'AYRES ROCK, Land Down Under' and started for the tub. Chloe moved to lift the girl into the water when she froze. Chloe gingerly placed Lena in the tub and squinted at the dark red and blue-black bruises that she saw on Lena's ribs. "Lena, what are these?" Horrified, she touched the discolorations on Lena's skin. Anger pulsed through her. "Who gave you a bath last?"  
  
"Mommy, don't touch them. They hurt!"  
  
The red anger was quickly covered by concern. "Did your nanny hurt you?" As she said it, Chloe was convinced that the young woman they hired would not raise a hand against Lena.  
  
"No."  
  
Slowly, Chloe made Lena turn around. Tears rose in her eyes when she saw the a few more bruises were scattered on Lena's back. Bile rose in her throat. This was what real terror felt like, she thought. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and her cheeks were so cold.  
  
Chloe kissed her daughter's temple and, forcing calm, whispered, "Start washing up, baby. I'm going to go call daddy."  
  
Chloe left the bathroom to get the cordless phone from the bedroom. She frantically dialed Lex's office number in Canada. When she got no answer, she cursed lightly. With trembling hands, she fumbled with her bag. She grasped her mobile and pressed one.  
  
"Answer," she murmured.  
  
Within two rings, Lex picked up. "Chlo."  
  
"Dammit, Lex. Where are you? Why aren't you answering your office phone?"  
  
Sensing her panic, Lex kept his voice cool and controlled. "Remember I told you the conference starts at ten?" he reminded his wife. "I'm in the middle of a meeting. What's wrong, Chloe?"  
  
"Lena's got bruises, Lex. All over her body." She couldn't breathe. "She hasn't fallen..." she allowed her voice to trail off.  
  
Lex took a deep breath. "All right. I need you to keep yourself together. I want you to take him to her pediatrician. Okay, Chloe?" While he was talking, Chloe was on her way to the bathroom to get her daughter. "Tell Jack to drive you. I don't want you handling a car right now."  
  
"Okay," she whispered.  
  
Chloe stepped into the bathroom.  
  
"I know what you're thinking. It could be nothing," he said. "She hasn't shown any other symptoms, so relax."  
  
"Baby, we're going to Dr. Schultz first today, okay?" Chloe's feet were glued to the floor when she saw her daughter standing in the tub, crying and holding her hands to her bleeding nose. She did not bother hanging up the phone, or saying goodbye to Lex. Chloe tossed her phone into the sink and ran to her daughter. 


	6. 6

Part 6

Had any woman ever felt the paralyzing pain of watching lucid eyes haze, a cherubic face sink and cherry red lips pale? Was there a texture more appalling than the papery roughness that accompanied the graying of healthy, rosy skin? For Chloe, only a thin line kept her at the edge of sanity. Had she not had the promise of Lex's confident, comfortable security to look forward to, finding out the truth would have been her death sentence.

"Hey princess," she said softly, when she saw her daughter's lashes flutter.

Lena turned her head towards the source of the familiar voice. "Mommy, I wanna go home."

Her baby girl's wide eyes were slanted, which obviously meant that she was still sleepy. "Aren't you tired, Lena?"

Lena nodded, crumpling the hair tucked under her head. "But I just went to sleep. I don't wanna go back to sleep. I want my bed, mommy. The sheets are starchy. Daddy says princesses don't sleep on starchy sheets."

It sounded like it came straight out of her husband's book on what his family deserved. Lex had always been a stickler for giving Chloe and Lena the best. "I want to go home too, baby. Right now, though, we have to wait for the doctor. We'll see if he can make you feel better. I don't like seeing you sick," Chloe explained.

"Daddy can fix me," Lena suggested, then promptly yawned.

Chloe allowed herself to smile. She stood and kissed Lena's nose. "Look who doesn't want to go to sleep. Why don't you rest, sweetheart? When you wake up, daddy's gonna be here."

"Daddy's working abroad, mommy."

"But daddies come home for their princesses, Lena. Always."

The thought was satisfying to the little girl. She grinned and rolled to lay on her side. "I hope he got me a t-shirt," she murmured, before finally falling asleep.

She must have been watching the rise and fall of her daughter's chest for a while. Chloe did not hear the door open or Lex's footsteps approaching her. She started when she felt the hand close around her shoulder. Chloe shot up from her seat and threw her arms around her husband.

"Oh God! Lex!"

"Ssshhh." Lex embraced his wife and closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of home, the way he always did after he had been away. He drowned in her scent, like there was no tomorrow. Since he first fell in love until this very moment, his love for her only escalated.After satisfying every empty portion of his heart, he opened his eyes. His gaze wandered to the girl who lay sleeping on the bed.

Lex gently extricated themselves from the embrace, and held Chloe a few inches away so he could look at her. He reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Then he leaned down to kiss the moisture away from her lashes.

"Don't cry, Chloe," he said softly.

Chloe shook her head, tears spilling still. "She's all we have."

"Nothing will happen to Lena," he said assertively.

The girl on the bed turned to lie on her back. Lex glanced back at his daughter and propelled his wife out of the room.

Now, away from her child and from the burden of having to pretend that all was well, Chloe allowed herself to go. Her knees weakened and her arms trembled. Lex's hands around her elbows were the only reason she did not fall into a heap on the floor. She could only be helpless when Lex was around. At that moment, she belatedly realized, she needed to be weak. She needed to be taken care of.

"Nothing will happen to Lena, Chloe," Lex said, determination apparent in his voice. "I promise you."

Chloe nodded. She badly needed to believe him. "Okay," she gasped. "Did you talk to her doctor?"

"On the way here," he informed her. "I'll be having a team from Metropolis transferred here. We will have all possible treatments done for her, Chloe." Lex cupped Chloe's chin with his hand and said, "Look at me." When she did, he continued, "I'll be handling all of the arrangements for her therapy. I just need you to do one thing for me."

She was so caught up by the challenge in her husband's gaze. "What?"

"Tell yourself that nothing's wrong."

Chloe's lips parted. "I can't do that. My entire body is shaking. I dread every minute that's going to come because I don't know if anything will change in Lena's situation."

"That's not going to help Lena, Chlo. If you really want to make her better then you have to make Lena believe that nothing's wrong."

Finally, Chloe nodded in agreement. Lex embraced her. "I don't know how I would get through this, Lex."

"We stay together," was his answer. "We can get through anything together."

She raised her head to kiss her husband on the lips and patted his chest through his shirt. "Come on, Lex. Let's go into Lena's room. I want her to see us both when she wakes up."

"You go ahead," he told her. "I'll speak with the hospital administrators. "We will need a private area for the length of Lena's stay."

"Okay. But hurry. Lena misses you."

"I will." Lex took her hand and raised it to his lips. "If she wakes up before I get back there, tell her daddy is going to make sure everything will be fit for a princess when we go back here."

And so when they did, it was. A small wing of the community hospital was turned into a haven for the Luthors. Furnishings were shipped from Metropolis, and hospital rooms were turned into temporary living rooms, dining rooms, playrooms. The young girl may have contracted a disease that forcibly took other girls like her away from their homes for weeks and months at a time. Since she was Lena Luthor though, she would have her home with her wherever treatment was possible.

For the next months, Lena went through a barrage of therapy with her mother at her side. For the next months, Lex Luthor buried himself in research about his daughter's illness. If Lex Luthor traveled at all, he traveled to universities and research laboratories, wooing medical researchers and practitioners. The family signed up for one treatment after another, expensive medicines, rare injections, long therapies. The whirlwind only served to remind Chloe of the same barrage she and Lex went through to reach their dream.

And now that dream lay, her bedsheet crushed in her fisted hand, screaming because a popular doctor was injecting a potent drug into her vein. Chloe had held Lena while the little girl threw up amber fluid into a stainless basin. Chloe had wiped down her daughter while Lena burned with a fever that combated the effects of therapy. Chloe had waited at one end of a radiation machine while her daugher was passed through it.

Chloe held her daughter's limp body when Lena no longer had the strength to complain, when Lena no longer had tears or a voice with which she could express her pain. It was Chloe who gave in and painted her five-year-old's nails pink because she did not want Lena to see them turning into a sickly shade.

"Mommy, am I still princess?"

Chloe's immediate answer was 'yes.' She turned around to tell that to her daughter when she saw the clump of hair that stood starkly against the white sheet. She drank in Lena's appearance, from the hollowed cheeks to the sunken eyes, from the protruding clavicle until the evident bones of her kneecaps.

"I don't look like a princess anymore."

And this was something that she could not handle. No matter if she promised Lex that she would always insist to her daughter that nothing was wrong. Damn Lex for leaving when Lena was going to ask this. He knew how to deal with this. Chloe could barely make it through a bedtime reading session without choking. Lena asked this from Lex before. Chloe took a page from husband's book.

She returned the question to Lena. "Do you feel like a princess?" And even then, as the words left her mouth, Chloe knew that she was only insulting her and her daughter by asking that. The answer to the question they both experienced every day.

Lena's lower lip trembled. She looked down at her painted hands and clutched her blanket.

"You don't have to answer that, baby." Chloe sat beside her daughter on the bed. She kicked off her shoes and lay down beside Lena.

When Lena fell asleep, Chloe stayed in bed, holding her, until Lex stepped into the room. She watched him brush his fingers against Lena's cheek. Then, Lex kissed the girl on her forehead. Finally, his gaze went to Chloe's face. He nodded at his wife.

"We have to talk," Chloe mouthed. She slid out of bed and slipped on a pair of slippers from the closet. Chloe padded out of the room and waited for Lex to follow her into their makeshift living room.

Lex smiled down at Chloe, and leaned down to kiss her. Before his lips touched hers, Chloe turned her head so that he would only kisss her cheek. It was then that his smile vanished. "I haven't seen Lena since this morning, Chloe. I'd hoped to stay with her tonight. What is this about?"

She had not been strong since Lena got sick. She had to take control now. Chloe owed this to her daughter. "We have to stop this, Lex."

Lex's brows furrowed. "Stop what?"

"Haven't you seen your daughter lately?" Chloe asked in disbelief.

"I was going to do that remember?" he replied, his voice hard as flint.

"Lex, we have to stop all the treatments!" she finally burst out.

There was silence.

It may have been only a few minutes; it could have been days. It did not really matter because her husband's face had frozen at her words.

"What?" The restraint in his voice was visible through the hard lock of his jaw and the veins in his neck.

"No more, Lex. We're killing her every day with pain..."

Chloe's gaze dropped. She could not meet his eyes. In them she saw confusion, betrayal, hurt... hatred.

"Do you know what you're asking me to agree to?" he said needlessly.

And so their world stopped rotating. Chloe could hear her every heartbeat throb in her ears.

"I'm asking you to love her enough to stop."

Lex's nostrils flared. Slowly, he shook his head. "Don't tell me about love, Chloe, not when it concerns our daughter. I'm not the one bent on letting her die."

She swallowed to moisten her throat, and it hurt. It hurt. "You're not here to see her in pain," she threw back at him. "You don't hear her cry. You're not the one stuck here wishing you take on all the hurt because the person you love most in the whole world is suffering!"

And then he grabbed her arm and shook her, so hard that her teeth rattled and her brain shook. "You don't think I know how hard this is? Do you think I'm out there scouring the world for help just because I don't want to see her?" Lex hissed at her. He squeezed her arm so tight that she finally cried out. Lex let go and stepped back. He looked at the dark bruises that already then formed on her skin. "I promised myself I would never stay away from this. Not after my mom!"

"Then why do you stay away and leave me here?" she demanded. "We have all the doctors and all the drugs and all the godforsaken machines it would take to prolong Lena's agony!"

"Because I know there's more out there!" Lex cried. "They can all say there's nothing else, but somewhere, Chloe, somewhere in the far reaches of the world there's a cure for her. I'm going to find it!"

"Can't you stop?" she asked softly, defeated. Chloe ran her fingers through her hair. "Can't you stop for just a little while and stay with us?"

Lex took deep breaths, silent. "I can't look at you," he said slowly.

Chloe stood stunned, shell-shocked at his words. She did not move an inch when he turned around left the room. She sucked in a breath of air, but still she felt suffocated. He had voiced it out. Finally, Lex had named the nameless cloud that hung above her since Lena's illness. All the drugs, all the therapy, all the medical nonsense she had been fed in their quest for her baby girl had contaminated her womb and settled on Lena. The doctors had discounted the possibility, but Chloe knew that this was the payment. She and Lex were never supposed to have Lena. She only insisted on it, stubbornly held on to the hope of a child.

She killed her baby girl.

Chloe tried to stand up, placed her hands flat on the floor and pushed herself up to no avail. And so she stayed in that position until the door opened again. It was her husband, haggard, pale, his eyes red-rimmed. He walked into the room, as if he lost the most important battle of his life.

Lex did not look at her. For a moment, Chloe wondered if he knew she was still there. He collapsed into one of the armchairs and rested his head back.

"You won."

She started at his words. It had been so silent for so long that she did not expect a voice. Chloe watched her husband, who did not even look at her.

"You won."

In almost a whisper, she asked, "What did I win, Lex?"

"Have you seen her arms?"

"The tracks, the needle marks, the black spots..." she enumerated.

"Have you seen her cheeks?"

Silence.

"Have you seen her eyes?"

Silence.

"Have you seen all her beautiful hair?"

Silence.

"She woke up when I kissed her. Lena asked me if she was still a princess. I told her she would always be my princess." He sat up and looked her straight in the eye. "She asked me," and his voice broke, "if she would still be my princess even when she's in heaven."

A stifled sob. Chloe covered her face with her hands.

"Angels visit her in her dreams, Chlo," Lex said in wonder. "She said she doesn't want us to try to fix her anymore."

This was what she had asked him for. Hearing those words from him, Chloe felt herself grow cold all over. Muscles in her entire body contracted in spasm she could not manage. She felt Lex stand over her, then kneel before her. His embrace around her was warm and tight. Chloe raised her face and received his kiss.

"We'll see this through together," he repeated his promise. "We can see this through together."

"Okay."

"Then after the funeral, Chlo," he continued, "we'll sign the divorce papers."

She closed her eyes against the torrent of tears, and did not dispute his words.


	7. 7

A Dream of Angels

Part 7

The smile she beamed at her daughter betrayed nothing of her distress. Chloe leaned down and kissed Lena's forehead.

"Try again, mommy?"

"Of course, princess." Chloe gave the girl another kiss. "I'll be right back."

Chloe picked up her phone and dialled her first hot number. Lex's secretary answered the phone.

"Julia! Is Lex around?"

The voice on the other line was sympathetic. "Mr. Luthor left his mobile here in the office, Mrs. Luthor. He just upped and left. He did say he won't be back for the rest of the day."

Chloe hated to ask, because she didn't relish the thought of other knowing how little she knew about her husband. "Did he mention where he was headed?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Luthor. I thought he was going back home. I heard something about the castle."

"Oh." She hadn't seen Lex around. If he were in the castle, he would most likely head over to Lena's room. At least that's what he did until over a month ago, he stopped. Since then he had stayed away. Neither she nor Lena had seen him for a long time. "Alright. Do me a favor, Julia?"

"Anything, Mrs. Luthor."

"I'm going to leave a voice message in Lex's phone. I'll be calling this number again. Can you not answer it so I'll be prompted to voice mail?"

Chloe heard the smile in Julia's response. "That would be no problem at all. I'll see you soon?"

"Sure."

"Say hi to Lena for me. It was good talking to you."

"Bye, Julia."

Chloe hung up and immediately pressed redial.

"Lex," she said, as soon as the prompt told her to, "Lena's been asking for you for the last two weeks. Where are you?" She gulped in some air, believing it to be the source of courage. "I don't presume to lecture you. You're a grown man. But our daughter is," at this point her voice broke, "very sick. There's nothing more important for you to attend to. Let the plant explode for all I care. Just come over here. Lena's been asking me," she sniffed, "when she's going to travel with you." There was a long pause, and she hoped he wouldn't think the message was over when he listened to it. "Come home," she pleaded into the phone. "Don't leave me here alone to watch Lena go."

She hastily hung up. Chloe brushed the moisture from her eyes.

Her phone rang. She glanced at the screen and saw that it was from one of the other lines in the castle.

"Yes?" she answered breathlessly.

"Chlo," came Lex's clipped voice. "Can you bring Lena to the north wing?"

"Lex, have you been there the whole time?"

"Why?"

"Lena has been asking for you! What do you think you're doing?"

A harsh breath into the phone. "I'm tired, Chloe. Just bring Lena to the north wing and you'll see."

It would have been so easy to hang up on him. However, doing so would not be fair to her daughter. Any argument she had with Lex could be taken to him directly.

"Hey baby girl!" Chloe greeted.

Lena sat up, her eyes brighter than they had been for a long time. "Did you talk to daddy, mommy? Is he coming?"

"Even better!" she replied enthusiastically. "Daddy wants to see us in the north wing. Piggy back?"

Lena nodded happily and held up her arms. Chloe sat on the bed and arranged her daughter so that Lena hung from her neck. So that Lena would not have to exert any effort, Chloe placed her arms behind her to support the girl.

"Are you ready to see daddy?"

"Uhuh."

Chloe made her way from the left wind living quarters to the north. The trek was long and confusing, because she could not think of any reason Lex would want Lena in one of the unused areas of their home.

"Oh my God," Chloe whispered when she saw the place.

Lex had had the old walls taken down, and it was now one wide space. He stood at the center and walked forward, taking Lena from Chloe and carrying the girl himself.

Chloe looked around her. Painted on the far walls were images that Chloe recognized from experience and Lena's novelty shirts. There was the Ayres Rock, the Grand Canyon, the Highlands, the Great Wall, the Safari, Everest and Mayon. She covered her mouth to stifle any outburst of emotion that would only upset her happy daughter, who was now faintly clapping.

"Look, Lena," she heard Lex say. Her daughter and her husband were now beside the African Safari painting. Lex opened a door and in walked a small tiger cub.

Chloe would have protested when Lex placed Lena on te floor to play with the animal. Chloe rushed over, but Lex took her by her arm. "It's tamed," he assured her. Chloe relaxed only when Lena started ooohing.

"Mommy, it's prettier than my toys!"

"Of course, princess," Lex answered quickly. "It's alive."

Chloe closed her eyes and prayed Lena would not look at her. Lex stiffened beside her. He muttered an apology before moving away and kneeling next to Lena.

"I have a lot more surprises for you, princess," Lex told Lena.

He handed Lena a deep mahogany chest and a key. Lena gasped as she took them. "It's a treasure chest!''

Lena inserted the key into the lock and the lid popped open. She picked up what seemed to be a small piece of rock and showed it to Lex.

"That, Lena, was once a part of the Berlin Wall."

Lex looked inside the box and drew out a glass ball with sand inside. "This is ash from the explosion of Mount Pinatubo that covered several cities with lava." He took out a small replica of a temple. "And this is a carved imitation of the Taj Mahal." Lena took the wooden carving from Lex. "Do you know what the Taj Mahal is?"

Lena shook her head.

"It's a giant structure in India. One of the kings built it in memory of his wife, because he loved her so much and he always wanted to see a monument that would remind him of her."

Lena carefully ran her fingers over the replica. "It's pretty." Lena yawned. "I'm tired. Can we look at everything again tomorrow, daddy?"

"Of course, Lena."

Chloe bent to pick up the girl, but Lex waved her arms away. "I'll carry her." He lifted Lena into her arms and heard Chloe say thanks. "We're all headed to the left wing anyway."

Chloe shook her head. "Thanks for giving her a taste of the world. That's the only thing she wanted."

"She _is _my daughter."

Lex deposited Lena into the bed that the little girl had asked Chloe to share with her. He retreated from the room to look up other things that he could order so that Lena could see more items from around the world.

He fell asleep in front of his laptop and woke the next day to the ringing phone.

"Lex," came Chloe's voice, "are you at home? I didn't find you in your bed earlier. I'm in the hospital with Lena. You have to come."

He arrived in the special wing of the hospital that was specifically for the care of their daughter. The nurse rushed over to him.

"Where's my daughter?"

"She's in the bedroom, Mr. Luthor."

Lex wandered through the halls and imagined that this was what person caught in slow motion saw. Everything around him was blurred, and yet he could not seem to go to the end of the corridor soon enough. Finally, he stopped in front of the bedroom and saw the 'Silence' door hanger.

He pushed the door open and heard Chloe's soft voice. His wife sat on a rocking chair at the end of the room, facing the window. Lena was sprawled on her chest.

"If the stars could hear me, they would say to me, How beautiful's your baby. She is so lovely."

Lex walked into the room and knew, just from the smooth, calm voice of his wife, just from the silent, relaxed sleep of his daughter, that this was the day he had convinced himself would never arrive.

"If the stars could sing a song, I know it won't be long, Before they sing a lullaby, So my baby will not cry."

Lex knelt by the rocker, and Chloe placed her foot on the floor to stop the movement. She smiled tearfully at Lex. He placed his hand on Lena's back and swallowed the knot in his throat. Chloe smiled at him in encouragement. Lex shook his head and Chloe continued,

"Sleep tight, little princess. You're mommy's baby girl. Tonight and every night I'll give you, A gift of love, my heart."

Chloe looked down at Lena's pale face, then kissed the closed eyelids.

"Sleep tight, little princess. I thank God every day, That years ago He gave us, A miracle that's you."

Lex clutched Chloe's hand at those words, and decided that it was time he took part in the process, and escorted Lena into where she needed to go.

"Sleep tight, little princess," she softly sang. "You're daddy's pretty pride. I'll take care of you, every day, every hour."

He pressed a kiss on Lena's small dry hand. "My sweet Lena, close your eyes. Night has come; you are tired. Sleep, sleep sweet child. Daddy will stay with you through the night."

As any mother would know, Chloe felt the exact second when the heart beating next to hers stopped. She lay her head back on the chair and closed her eyes. Silently, her tears fell. Lex stood up and brushed the hair that fell over Lena's eyes. She heard his heavy breathing, and knew he tried so hard not to cry.

The soft sobs came from the bed after that. She didn't turn. She said nothing. To the world outside, Lex Luthor never cried.


	8. 8

A Dream of Angels

Part 8

How can one be barely past thirty and feel like aging past one hundred overnight?

She waited blearily as Lex opened the door to Lena's room. Chloe stepped into the shock of pastels and tourist treasures that had been Lena's sanctuary in all her five years of life. Her throat ached and she couldn't bear to brush against the toys that littered the bed and decked the shelves. What had women for centuries done when faced with catastrophe such as this?

"We don't have to do this right now," came Lex's soft voice from behind her, and she hated hearing him speak like that. They both knew there was nothing gentle or tender about what they had been through. They were both aware that he harbored hatred inside him. Hatred of fate, of trust, of her.

Her abrupt movements indicated to him that he would not be able to change her mind. Lex watched his wife pick up stuffed animals from the floor and place them on the bed. Her movements were measured; her face was impassive. It told him how much was happening deep inside her where she would never let him in again.

Chloe walked towards the shoe rack beside the closet and looked through the small feminine pairs in stock. She picked out black leather shoe that was still so shiny.

"Preschool graduation," she murmured. "Perfect."

Chloe had gone up the stage to put Lena's medal on. The girl wore a light blue dress and she waved to her classmates, proudly showing off that her mother was the prettiest in the auditorium. It was the day Lex was supposed to leave for Japan. He had already showered Lena with congratulations the night before. It had been an unexpected blessing that Lex arrived to run up to the stage and have photographs taken with them.

'You thought I'd miss this,' he had whispered into her ear. 'There would be only one preschool graduation of our only child.'

Her heart had blossomed at Lex's effort to be part of Lena's childhood. Only, he had spoken like an omen then, because it was to be the only graduation they attended.

"Where's the other one?" Chloe looked inside the other holes for the partner of the shoe she had in her hand. When she could not find it there, she knelt and peered under the bed. "Dammit!"

"Chloe, we'll buy another one."

"Shut up!" she snapped. She crawled halfway under the bed and found the shoe caught under one leg of the bed. Chloe reached for it and then sat back up. The shoe was ruined. The leather had chipped off and the shape was no longer the same.

Lex approached her and said, "We can get the same style if you want."

Chloe's eyes narrowed at him. She threw the shoe at Lex. The same weapon hit him on the chest and fell into his hand. "You can't buy shoes like these! These were Lena's graduation shoes!"

Lex closed his eyes and shook his head. "I promised myself I wouldn't argue with you, Chlo. Not about this. Not over shoes."

Chloe ignored the comment and walked over to the closet. She threw open the doors and looked through the dresses she had hung in there. They were almost new clothes that she could cajole her daughter into wearing only when Lex was going to be around.

'Dresses only for special occasions,' Lena had reminded her.

Chloe drew out the dress that was her favorite of all of them. It was a white satin princess gown. The style had been her dream one since she was a child. Every time Chloe had worn one though, she had always felt that she was some common girl pretending to be a princess. Lena though... Chloe had been so proud of how beautiful Lena was. She was an actual princess, so dressing her in pretty clothes was not difficult or challenging at all. She was meant to wear princess dresses.

Chloe took the satin dress with her and faced Lex. Lex's eyes flickered over the gown and nodded silently. Chloe released a heavy breath. She would not have been able to take Lex's disapproval, and she was grateful that he liked her choice. She lay back on Lena's bed and clutched the dress to her chest.

Lex looked down at Chloe on their daughter's bed, holding a dress as if it were a lifeline. A tear slid down Chloe's temple. He silently took the dress from her hands. Chloe opened her eyes.

"I'll give it to Ellen to send to... them."

Reluctantly, she gave Lex her choice and closed her eyes again. So tired.

The bed dipped at the side as Lex sat close to her. Again, Chloe opened her red-rimmed eyes and saw her husband staring down at her with a look she had not seen for a long time. Ever since Lena's illness, Lex had never outwardly expressed uncertainty, need. She reached up for him and breathed deeply when he leaned down to bury his lips in the crook of her neck.

"I need you tonight."

"Okay," she sighed.

"Tomorrow..."

"If you need me," came her answer. "I love you."

"I love you."

She woke more refreshed than she had ever been since she married Lex. It was exactly what they needed perhaps. After the dark months of her daughter's illness and the horror of releasing the beautiful child who came from inside her into the earth, again being with the man she loved seemed the only way to close the chapter.

She turned her head away from the warmth of the sunlight coming through the windows. As was imprinted inside her, she naturally settled deeper to her left, where her husband should have been, only to find cold emptiness and a vacant bed. Chloe expelled a breath and reality came crushing down at the sight. A brown envelope lay on the pillow still marked by Lex's head.

She took the packet and read the light purple post-it message.

"Chloe, it's time we accepted it. From the very start it seemed we were headed towards this. I fought it; you did. We stayed together because of a dream, and now she's gone. I can love you until the end my life, but we can't continue to be together. LL."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Chloe could picture Lex scanning the documents swiftly and signing at the end. She drew the papers out stared down at the end of her marriage. She finally turned the pages and read every heavy word.

Lex had given her more than what she could spend in a hundred lifetimes. With several sheets of paper, Lex had effectively ended any need for communication between them. He had handed over the castle, a dozen of his cars that she often used, a monthly allowance that would enable her to live like a queen.

She signed her name on every page.


	9. 9

A Dream of Angels

Part 9

How did real life translate into a dream? If it were possible that Lex exhausted all his resources to screen the years, then it must be the explanation. After the years he spent outside the Metropolis high life, acting as a father and a husband in a small town, Lex returned to the spotlight a grander man--untouchable, inaccessible, more solvent than he had ever been. The years he was gone seemed almost like a nightmare he had woken up from. No reference had been made to the family he had created. There was no appearance of the wife's name in any paper; no pictures of the daughter he was said to have had graced the screens.

It seemed that Lex Luthor had forgotten the life he left behind.

Yet deep into the night, Lex Luthor would stumble into the cold place in which he stayed--not a home, but a place to rest. In those small hours of the darkness he would slide out a worn photograph of a young redhead with a toothy grin, standing in front of the giant globe. Lex settled in a cushioned armchair.

There was his princess, the traveler. At times he could fool himself that Lena and her mother were off on a tour of the world.

Yet even in his depression, Lex questioned the duration of five years that they had been gone from his life.

"Lena, princess," he sighed, "happy birthday."

Lex grasped the handle of his desk drawer. He took his keys and closed his hand around it, relishing the biting metal. He had not seen nor heard from Chloe for so long. He had not stepped foot on the Smallville property for the same amount of time. He had thought that forgetting would be as easy as building distance between them.

Just before the explosion of sunlight, Lex dragged himself out into the parking lot and hauled his car out, tearing through the empty roads on his way back home.

In the early morning he rolled into the Luthor land. He stopped outside the yard. Lex rubbed his eyes. Sleeplessness and alcohol had taken their toll on Lex. At the sight of the fountain that held so many memories, his throat closed. He had never thought that this would still be difficult. Five years from the day Lena left, on his daughter's tenth birthday, Lex returned to the home that held it all.

Shouldn't time have taken away the sting of remembrance?

He stepped out of the car and slipped on his sunglasses. Lex headed directly for the fountain. Then, he stopped and beheld the sight.

A young girl sat on the edge of the fountain, her bare feet submerged in the water. A flower basket was placed beside her as she made flower crowns float on the water. The fountain was littered with pinks and yellows, white and reds and oranges.

"Lena," came Lex's firm voice.

The girl looked up and frowned. She plucked the bonnet from her head and revealed light blonde hair to his eyes. It had not been Lena.

The girl jumped off the fountain and dropped on her knees and hands on the grass. The reaction was immediate and Lex rushed to help the girl up. She shrugged off Lex's hands and glared at him. "Mommy says no strangers allowed," she snapped, then ran towards her house.

Lex held his breath. Minutes later, Chloe came running out of the house with the girl in her arms.

"Lex," she breathed.

He opened his hands and held his arms out, in indication that he had nothing.

"I'd love to talk," Chloe began, "but my daughter has an appointment in Metropolis that we can't miss."

He seemed taken aback, as if he half expected her to burst into tears and explain the screaming lie that was now glaring at him from her arms.

Chloe walked towards her parked car. She smiled at Lex. "But thanks for finally thinking of Lena again."

She opened the door and ushered Lena into the car. Chloe climbed into the driver's seat of the car. Her jaw dropped when Lex climbed into the passenger seat.

She looked at Lex and said, "Could you please excuse us?"

"What the hell did you mean by that?" he whispered furiously. "I've thought of Lena every moment since she left us!"

The little girl watched the two of them quietly. Lex glanced at the girl. The child still had that stubborn set of her jaw that softened his heart. This was Chloe's daughter, and his.

"You have a fine way of showing that, Lex. You never visited Lena. You never spoke with me for five years!" she argued. Chloe shook her head and stepped out of the car. She opened her daughter's door and said, "Claire, come on."

The girl shook her head. "We're going to Metropolis!"

Lex shook his head and stepped out of the car as well. He reached for a protesting Claire and lifted her into his arms. She did not struggle, but she didn't relax either.

The sight of Lex holding Claire stopped her. Chloe bit her lip. "Give me back my daughter," she commanded.

"You never told me about her," he said calmly. If having this conversation out of the child's earshot was impossible, then he would seek to protect Claire as much as he could.

"Lex, give me back my baby," Chloe pleaded.

In all the courts all over the land, he would easily have won if he contested that requested and took the girl with him to his apartment. The sight of Chloe in tears had never been a picture he could ignore. It flooded him with memories that he would rather not remember. Lex released Claire and said, "Go back to the fountain, Claire. Your mom and I have something to discuss."

To his surprise, the girl who had glared at him followed his request. He faced Chloe, who was now drying her tears.

"She was sick. After you left and I found out I was going to have her, the doctor ran an amniotic test, the same one he ran on Lena's blood." Lex froze. Of all her possible reasons--bitterness at his departure, selfishness because of his actions when Lena was sick, anger at their divorce--this was the least he expected and the last thing he wanted to hear.

"What?" he whispered.

Chloe swallowed and watched her little girl climb onto the fountain again. "I couldn't bear your going through losing another baby because of me. I'm screwed up inside," she said.

Then the Chloe of the time of Lena's illness was suddenly revealed to Lex. She felt responsible for Lena's illness. All the pills and treatment she went through to get Lena, in her mind, backfired to take away her daughter. In the deepest recesses of his mind, he had thought of this possibility over and over again, never voicing it out for fear that he would push his wife away. In trying to deny he had those thoughts, he may have ended up doing the same thing. Chloe knew, whenever he looked at her or touched her, that part of Lex blamed her.

His even bigger secret though lay so deep inside himself that he punished himself by staying in a self-enforced exile. As a child, his white blood cell count was off the charts. His children had inherited from him a disease that threatened one's life and took away the other's.

For the first time in all the long years of his guilt, he had to admit it to save his soul and sanity.

"I could have as easily been to blame, Chloe."

She shook her head. "Not possible."

"I've had the same illness as a kid, Chlo. I never spoke a word."

For the first time she saw beyond her own pain and saw her husband's--her ex-husband's. "Lex, you..."

He closed his hands and glanced towards Claire, the daughter he barely knew but whom he had also cursed with his blood. "She's angry at me. She doesn't know I'm her father."

"She knows," Chloe revealed. "Claire loves you beyond belief."

"How?"

"She's seen all of Lena's videos. I was trying to get the courage to ask you to come, but I'm a coward, Lex. I promised her you'd come when she got well, because I know inside me I can only gather enough courage to introduce you to Lena when there's no possibility that you'll lose her." Chloe waved her daughter over, and Claire started running towards them. "I guess I've made another mistake. She probably feels bad that you came on Lena's birthday but never on hers." Chloe sighed. "God, I screwed things up again!"

Lex shook his head. He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "We'll make up for it. I won't be relegated to a trite breakup just because we didn't communicate."

"She's sick, Lex," she whispered. "I don't want you to have to go through losing another daughter."

Lex smiled at Claire and knelt. "Hey baby girl," he said. The guarded look dropped from her eyes and she smiled. "Sorry I'm late."

Claire wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "It's okay, daddy. You're here."

"Let's go to Metropolis," Lex said. Claire nodded happily.

He lifted her into the car. Then, he took Chloe's hand and led her to the passenger seat. "I'll drive," he told her. As he strapped on her seatbelt, Lex closed his hand over hers and said, "Don't be afraid of whatever the doctor tells us. And don't be concerned about my losing another daughter." He kissed her hand. "I'm terrified. But I would have been more terrified of never having known the two beautiful girls you gave me."

She bit her lip. Tears flooded in her eyes.

"Tell me you blamed me."

Lex looked up from his uncomfortable seat in the waiting room. Chloe stood in front of the window looking at him. The results of their daughter's blood test would soon be revealed. Traces of the illness had been found in Claire and today was the final answer. Whether or not she had the exact disease that Lena had was still in question. The bigger demand hung between Chloe and Lex then.

"Tell me you blamed me as much as I blamed myself," she repeated.

Lex rose from his seat and cupped Chloe's cheek. There was no spite nor anger in her eyes.

"I need to hear it."

Lex nodded. He understood her. If they were to move forward and face another bout of tragedy, they had to learn to trust each other. She needed to learn his feelings.

"I denied that I had anything to do with Lena's sickness," he admitted. "And in that lie I did."

"Say it."

"I blame you for making Lena sick."

Chloe took a deep breath and shuddered, as if whipped. Lex stood behind her and wrapped his arms around Chloe.

"I'm so sorry."

Chloe smiled. "Thank you."

The door opened and in walked the doctor that had treated Lena so long ago, in that other life before they were honest to each other.

"Mr Luthor," the doctor said. "Mrs Luthor."

Lex took Chloe's hand and helped her on a chair. He sat beside her, never letting go of his grip.

The doctor sat in front of them. It was the first time he had seen Lex Luthor with the woman. With the results he had, he was grateful at least that Chloe was not alone.

"We have Claire's test results." Chloe nodded, waiting for the doctor to continue. "I will not make it long. We did expect that Claire will have a disease like Lena's. Before now we had been unable to detect the exact strain and type." Chloe gripped Lex's hand like a vise. "Mrs. Luthor, we were right. Claire will need to go through the therapy."

"Oh God." She had not allowed herself to hope and this was the answer. She never wanted Lena to suffer. How could she then justify this need she had for Claire to go through the treatment she stopped for her other daughter? She glanced at Lex.

"Fortunately the funds that LuthorCorp pumped into the research for children's diseases will allow us to introduce the drugs your daughter will need without the same level of pain that children went through five years ago."

She looked back at the doctor. "There'll be no pain then?" she clarified.

"There'll be pain, Mrs. Luthor. I assure you though. It's a fraction of the pain that Lena had to go through, which I deeply regret."

She nodded, and held her hands to her face. "It'll save Claire. That's what matters now."

Lex took Chloe into his arms, because the tense shuddering was not doing her much good. He excused himself from the doctor and murmured soothing words of reassurance. Chloe held back the tears until she could not hold back anymore and she sniffled in Lex's arms. Then, he led her to the Claire's room and was surprised when Chloe started pulling away.

She rose on the tips of her toes to place a chaste kiss on his cheek, then smiled at him. "You need time with her," she told Lex. "Give her some of the attention that I kept her from enjoying all these years. Show her her father, Lex."

He smiled briefly and nodded. Claire had to him, until the doctor assured them would be fine, a second Lena. She was ill and she needed his care. Yet even from the beginning his second daughter had proven that she was so different from her sister. She had called him stranger when she knew she was her father. Claire had glared at him in displeasure and forgave so easily. In the same way she pulled off her bonnet when he had called her Lena and showed him the burst of sunlight hair so different from her sister's fiery Luthor locks, Claire had with every look and every word proved she was someone else.

He opened the door, excitement pumping his blood. Did she want to travel around the world, he wondered. Did his daughter take after Chloe's ambition the way that she seemed to physically be every bit Chloe's daughter?

He saw Claire sitting on the bed looking down at the bruises that littered her arm. Lex knocked and was welcomed with a smile. He entered the room and sat beside her on the bed.

"Did it hurt?"

"When they used a needle to get the blood. I didn't cry!" she announced. Yes, every bit his Chloe Sullivan.

Lex took the small arm and looked at the line of bruises. He kissed each one and patted the skin.

"They didn't go away," she observed.

"Imagine that," Lex said. "I'll tell you what, Claire. I'll do that every day until all the bruises go away. Sooner or later, daddy's kisses are gonna work, you know."

Claire gave him another toothy grin. "Sounds okay." She moved over to the side and patted the side of her bed. Claire yawned. "I saw you and Lena in the videos. Tell me about Lena, daddy. Mom always cries. She's a crybaby so I don't ask her to tell me about Lena. Why does mommy keep crying when Lena's playing with angels?"

Lex lay down beside her and took her in his arms. "Maybe soon she will." He looked up at the sound and saw Chloe peeking in. He waved her inside and indicated for her to sit on a comfortable chair. "Let me tell you about a little princess who wanted to be everywhere in the world, all at once..."

fin


End file.
